It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Randomize
