I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
should my penis look like a turkey
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
