She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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