she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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