Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
