I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
