I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
How does one acquire holy water?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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