Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
