Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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