I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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