stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
