Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize