Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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