YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
