Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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