Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Let's get the cat blown out
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
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