Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Randomize
