But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
