Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
