Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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