just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
