I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
This toilet bowl is my home.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
