I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
