Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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