mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize