I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Randomize
