I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
