he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
