you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
