I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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