More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Sponge bath it is.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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