please come you make the beer taste better
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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