ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
