I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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