My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I deserve this hangover.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
