Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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