I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
