Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize