They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
