I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
