he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
