just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
She tied me up with her honor cords...
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
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