You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
