Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
