Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize