i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
