TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
