I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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