I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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