is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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