your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
