Where are you?
In a non slutty way
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
he puts the penis in happiness.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
