So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize