Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
