my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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