Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize