I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
