I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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