There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
