your thong is hanging out like whoa
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
