i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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