I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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