I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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