Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
