whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
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