giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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