I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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