i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
