He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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