Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
