i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i used baking grease as lip gloss
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
