I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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