Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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