You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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