have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
