we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
