Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
It's just like the Real World with babies
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
