What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
